Life

I sit at my computor crying. My Uncle has lived with grandpa, and grandpa lived with us. So Perle has been a part of my life since I was born (and some would say that was along time ago (and it was). So why would that bring tears, maybe the long time ago could do it, but Perle has basal cell carcinoma. He has had this for six years and his gaurdian saw fit to treat it with herbs only. He did take Perle to the doctor but the doctor wanted to cut it out and put a skin graph on it. His gaurdian said no, for Perle likes to pick at his sores and thus could have 2 sores to pick at. So after six years, a cancer, basal cell carcinoma, the easiest to cure has become aggressive.
Today Perle is staying with me untill the doctor calls for him to meet them at Carle Hospital in Champaign to remove his left eye, part of his nose, his palate, his lip, and part of his cheek bone. A 12 hour plus surgery to save his life. If his gaurdian does not change his mind Perle will come home with me from the hospital and I will care for him as he heals and then through his radiation.
Perle is part of my parents. I grew up with mom and dad, grandpa and Perle. Even though Perle has mental retardation, he is my Uncle. I love him so much. I feel guilty that I did not speak up sooner and get him help. Now he may die from this and I can't deal with it. I try to put him in Gods hands. I just can't stand the thought of losing the last of my parenthood. He comes to me and says, "Donna, I don't want to go back. Can't I stay with you. And he can't, my husband says we have plans to go on a mission. I have just retired and I don't want to be tied down." I just want the best for Perle. He is soooo sweet. Anyone that knows him knows what he has gone through in his life. Why does life have to be so hard?