Monday, October 27, 2008

Its Not about Love

Improving your spirit isn't about love of self or of being loved but having a stronger spirit. For me its about being true to the light within. Knowing that my time here on earth is spent learning what kind of spirit I have and teaching myself how to have a stronger spirit. Of RETURNING WITH HONOR!

My Spirit

Over the last several weeks I have given much thought to my spirit. When I don't feel well I seek something for my ailment, whether it be asprin or a hot bath, anything that will make my body feel better. I have spent time (too much) dieting and excerising to get my body in the best shape I possibly could. What about my spirit? Well, I have been baptized, confirmed and made covenants. I attend church and live the laws as best as I can. But is that enough? Will living a Christ Like Life be all that is needed to improve my spirit. When we have children we say, "Oh she was born that way. She has always been a happy child." I believe we were in the spirit world before we came to this earth and we came with what we had in our hearts and minds. I also believe that when we leave this world we will take with us what is in our hearts and minds. So, my question," What must we do to take back a better spirit? I hav efelt that special attention needs to be placed on improving our spirits. My daughter, Laura, talked about seeing the better things in life, focusing on the good not the bad. This is truely one way to improve our spirits. Reading the scriptures will make us better people, help us to live that Christ Like Life. As for me, having depression, I believe I must work on my spirit somewhat like I must work on my body. Living the gospel alone is not enough for me. Maybe Iam too had on myself and I should just let nature takes its course. I don't think so, I need to improve my spirit. I like myself the way Iam but I know when I leave this world I want my spirit to better than when I came into this world.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Life is too short

As one gets older, one realizes life is too short. I have said good-bye to too many family and freinds. Two years ago this month my sister died. It was just 2 days after her husband's birthday. His birthday is the 24th of this month. Today he passed. I spent 3 hrs and 40 min at the funeral home. I miss him already. I miss him more now even tho I have gone for weeks without seeing him. Its knowing it will or can be along time before I see him again. It is nice to think of him being with Marilyn again. Some times I think we don't slow down enough to really see our loved ones. Then they pass and we bury them so fast its over before we know. Then life starts up again, like they were not really here. We miss them and all but life goes on and we must continue. We don't take enouth time to smell the roses and then when the roses die we just get more flowers. I think I want life to slow down, to SEE life, to take time to hold on to everyone. I don't like change even tho I cause change as well. We lost one of our secetaries at school. She and her husband were killed in a car accident. I was supposed to attend her visitation today. School continued as if nothing had happened. Yes, people were sad, but nothing slowed down. Even tho it was an early dismisall for students, teachers could not leave to attend. They had to stay that last hour at school. I don't know exactly wha tI want to have happen. I know we must go on. But, shouldn't there be something more? What do think. Death (on this side stinks).

Monday, October 6, 2008

What did he say! What did I say?

Sunday, while watching conference, I told Autumn to remember what President Monson was saying. I couldn't believe it, he was talking about exactly what I was saying, what I was feeling. I do live in the moment but I live in the past as well. I guess when a person reaches the autumn of their life its easy to look back. I look to the future more now than ever before. Why? I think because I am living for me for the first time. I no longer live to please everyone else, but live to please my Heavenly Father and myself. My husband is at the top but I must put myself first only for awhile so I can understand who Iam. Don't lose yourself in your spouse or your children or someday you may find you are a stranger to yourself.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Isn't life funny. You can't wait to become an adult, and then it happens. The whole while I find myself wishing to go back in time. Despite the improvements, I find myself wishing. Sometimes we spend too much time wishing and not enough enjoing the moment. I miis being the child (some of it) playing on Grandpa's floor, playing Ditch, going Trick or Treating. I miss the times when milk, juice and anythng else liquid would envelope my clean kitchen floor. NEVER ON A DIRTY FLOOR. I miss the times when I said and said and said Go To Bed. I dreamed of the day that it (the caose) would all end. I would enjoy the clean floors, the quite evenings. NOW!! i DON'T CARE SO MUCH ABOUT CLEAN FLOORS AND QUITE NIGHTS. Don't get me wrong I enjoy my evenings but, When their are little ones about that truely love you and depend on you, you know how important you are. I miss that. When you see the older ones leaving this world and you are suddenly the older generation, you can feel less important. The cycle of life has changed. You are no longer the butterfly but ready to fly. Maybe that is how God made it. In the end we must be sure that we have filled our own cups so that we can fly and show God and our family what is truely important. We must become complete, well rounded people.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Roots With Wings

This not the beginning but a short start.