Life

I sit at my computor crying. My Uncle has lived with grandpa, and grandpa lived with us. So Perle has been a part of my life since I was born (and some would say that was along time ago (and it was). So why would that bring tears, maybe the long time ago could do it, but Perle has basal cell carcinoma. He has had this for six years and his gaurdian saw fit to treat it with herbs only. He did take Perle to the doctor but the doctor wanted to cut it out and put a skin graph on it. His gaurdian said no, for Perle likes to pick at his sores and thus could have 2 sores to pick at. So after six years, a cancer, basal cell carcinoma, the easiest to cure has become aggressive.
Today Perle is staying with me untill the doctor calls for him to meet them at Carle Hospital in Champaign to remove his left eye, part of his nose, his palate, his lip, and part of his cheek bone. A 12 hour plus surgery to save his life. If his gaurdian does not change his mind Perle will come home with me from the hospital and I will care for him as he heals and then through his radiation.
Perle is part of my parents. I grew up with mom and dad, grandpa and Perle. Even though Perle has mental retardation, he is my Uncle. I love him so much. I feel guilty that I did not speak up sooner and get him help. Now he may die from this and I can't deal with it. I try to put him in Gods hands. I just can't stand the thought of losing the last of my parenthood. He comes to me and says, "Donna, I don't want to go back. Can't I stay with you. And he can't, my husband says we have plans to go on a mission. I have just retired and I don't want to be tied down." I just want the best for Perle. He is soooo sweet. Anyone that knows him knows what he has gone through in his life. Why does life have to be so hard?

Ants in my Pants!!!

Well, do I have ants in my pants? I love to travel, especially if its to see my family and friends. When Ed and I married we started our marrirage by traveling. I have enjoyed traveling every since. We have been in nearly every state, including Alaska and Hawai. But really, the best has been driving to see my children. Every winter I think of all the things I would like to do around the home and there are plenty of things I would love to do, paint the living-room, sand and varnish the hard-wood floors and tons of yard work. But! I don't see my children enough!! Maybe they think I see them plenty, you would have to check that out with them. I love being in their home, feeling the spirit in their homes. Watching the interactions, listening to the piano practice, having a young grandchild ask me to play. So if you read my last blog you will see I have alot of traveling ahead. Thereare no ants in my pants. I love to travel and while I have the health to do so, I will continue to travel from place to place to see family and freinds. Look out your home may be next on my list!

2011 Really!

Can it really be 2011? I believe time is going by much faster than it use to. Not sure how it happens with all the complaints from the adults. Children even comment that time is traveling so fast. I know time is slipping away. Jared will be 14 this summer and Rachel and Zach will be 13. Even Jackson and Clara will be 2 by this fall. Even Ed will be turning 67 in just a little over a month. Iam still 29 so how is all this happening. The stars must be rotating out of control. At any rate we have started 2011 with excitment. I have a lot of plans for the summer. Trips to Williamsburg, VA.; Charolette, N.C.; Huntersville, N.C.; Seattle, WA.; Holabird, S.D.; and of course LeClaire, IA. And all of this before school starts up in the fall. I still don't see how time can fly so fast. Any way, Happy New Year to All. May God bless you with all you need and a little of what you want.

Where Does Time Go

Oh my! I have been married for 42 years. My son turned 39 years old. How can that be? I am only 29 years old. Really!! I went to girls camp this past week. Surrounded by some 75 girls ages 12 to 18 showed me I was not 29 any more. I can get by the years of marriage and even my own children flying past 29 but these girls were something else. The heat was unbareable, the late "noisey"nights were long and I lost alot of energy. I have been sleeping for 3 days to regroup. The slip and slide down the hill into the mud was fun but my body could only take one trip down. Wisconsin Dells will find me sitting with the babies most of the time.
Truely I tend to think young but my body tells my brain to mind my age for I have little engery. Do you have the problem of too many projects? Well that is how my life is; I want to do all kinds of things that my poor brain tells me to. I am crazy. When I do it any way my body takes revenge. Maybe I am not 29 any more, maybe I need to remember I am going to be 59 years old, boy is that old! I believe you are only as old as you feel, but I don't want to feel 59.

Mothers Day

Mothers day has always been a day to enjoy. I remember making gifts and cards in school for my mom. In my adult years I tried to buy her gifts that would make her happy. Now she has passed on and all I can do is think of her and wish I could see her, talk to her, hug her, and tell her how much I love her. For now those times are gone. I must look at myself as a mother and my daughters as mothers and wonder if I had an influence on their motherhood. I know my mom influenced the way I was a mom, so Iam sure I have influenced my daughters. At any rate another Mothers Day has come and gone. More memories have flooded my heart and I am grateful to be a mom and a grandma. One of the greatest gifts God has given me. Happy Mothers Day, Mom.

Reflections

A new year is upon us. As my husband retires this year, as I have broken my wrist, as I sub verses teaching my own class, as days go by turning into years, I reflect.

I reflect upon my days, the good and the bad.

The good. Remembering the fun days, the days that warm my heart and water my eyes. Those days were filled with family and friends. I can't bring up a memory that is with out them. I remember my dad pulling us down the country road with a tractor, us on an old car hood. The snow was deep and so was the homemade sled with me, my siblings, and the neighbor kids. We pushed each other off, we ran to catch up, we laughed, and did it all over again.

I remember my dads' sister, Dorthory Kruger, and her family coming over on Saturday nights for dinner, dancing out in the yard, and playing "ditch" a form of hide n seek, after dark. She had eight kids we had seven. WE had a blast.

I remember birthdays filled with more love than presents, Christmas filled with people and food, late nights at the drive in movies. We laughed and laughed. There are more of the happy memories many to private to share, but they all had something in common, family and friends.

I remember a special friend that taught me I had worth. One that laughed with me and cried with me. Helping me to become the person I am today.

The bad. I remember mom and dad fighting, I remember waking up to a cold house with the coal stove even colder. The teachers in the schools mean to kids who lived in Hawbuck. Family members abusing children in many ways.

I remember all of this and much more. All memories are filled with good and bad but the memories have all the people I love. Family from my parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins too. Friends from childhood, friends from the years all are special.

Life continues to evolve. Life evoles no matter what. Maybe thats alright. The best part of the evoltion is family and freinds. They are always there, from on egeneration to another. God, thank you so much for amily. Thank you so much for being our Heavenly Father, now and for ever.

North Carolina in June

One of my favorite things to do in the summer is to visit my children. As of this month, visiting my girls in N.C. is the thing to do. I have renewed my relationship with Laura's' 3 children, Jared (soon to be 12), Zach (11 in Oct), and Megan (3 in Sept). How fun! Megan has been so much fun especially when she plays with one of my 4 new pets. Megan will hold Cherrie for hours, putting her in the baby stroller and pushing her around the house. Smokey Gravy, Crooked Tail, and White Sauce are glad its not them. No, this is not any thing from the menu, its my new girls, 4 beautiful Fancy Rats. Sarah found them for me on Craig's List. They came with one very grouchy rat. She did not stick around for more than one day, especially when the pet store discovered she was a he. Consequently, I may be having alot of new babies. Zach thought they would make good food for his Bearded Dragon. I hope there will be no babies. We'll see! Sarah's' daughter, Emmalynne celebrated her first birthday on the 6th. She knew exactly how to celebrate. My adventures continue until the 6th of July. I will be sure to enjoy being a grandma with lots of adventures.